CRUNCHY GOOEY SWEET CARAMEL CHOCOLATE BUCKWHEAT SLICES


So these are really decadent.

A new and now very dear friend, Sophie, stayed with me for a few days over the last week/weekend and we made these up before watching a movie called Inside Out. It's funny because when were discussing our fave movie genres I basically just listed a bunch of dark, depressing films where people die (*shrugs with helpless look*) and Sophie was like: dude, I love kids movies and chick flicks. EVEN STILL: we both really liked Inside Out. It's a kids movie but I tell ya, directors for kids movies are now A) giving the lil ones way more credit than ever before and B) considering the parents and other non-kiddie folk. This movie had a lot of mature themes and basically was about explaining the psychology of the human brain... in a really entertaining way. The main character was a girl but I was so pleased to see how traditional gender expectations were blatantly being broken: the girl was in pretty gender-neutral clothing the whole time and her fave hobby was hockey. Progress.


Honestly, being vegan this long (6 years woo woo, I just turned 22!) is making me way more sensitive or something because I was literally just tearing up typing that. Seriously. I also start crying when I think about chickens cooing. Such a pretty sound.

I don't know where this post is goin' and I like it like that. I guess I will talk about the recipe now.

As the title suggests (or rather, explicitly tells you) these babies are crunchy, gooey and sweet. We have got three layers going on and they each bring their own delicious personalities to the table. The crust is crunchy thanks to the buckwheat, it's like little bite explosions. The caramel is RIDICULOUS and addictive. Tastes like all things fancy and rich. The chocolate is... well, we have all already come to love raw chocolate so I don't need to say more. It's damn good. Bring all these components together and whadda we get? Multiple foodgasms! Yaaaaaaay.

I really hope whoever reads this enjoys my sporadic writing style and total lack of a theme to this post. I think I am really funny and quirky in just the right way but I can easily see someone thinking I am super tacky. I mean, I am super tacky. But I like that about myself. I almost wrote "lame" instead of "tacky" there but I am trying to watch my language; using words like stupid, dumb and lame is kinda ableist and can offend people with mental or physical impairments. We gotta be considerate of everyone! We also need to be considerate of our mouths, and treat them right. How do we do that? Make this recipe and put it in your mouth. Also: brush your teeth and FLOSS. Kay, I'm out. x


CRUNCHY GOOEY SWEET CARAMEL CHOCOLATE BUCKWHEAT SLICES

Crust:
1 1/4 cups raisins
3/4 cup buckwheat groats
1/4 cup pecans
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon powder

Caramel:
1 1/2 cups dates
2 tablespoons date syrup
1/4 tsp vanilla bean
1/4 cup hazelnut butter
2-3 tablespoons lemon juice
1/4 cup almond milk or more, as needed

Chocolate:
3 heaping tablespoons coconut oil
3/4 cup dates
2 tablespoons cacao powder
A few tablespoons water, as needed

Toppings (optional):
Pinch of fluer de sel
Date syrup
Black sesame seeds

To make the crust: throw everything into a food processor and whizz until it becomes a crumbly, sticky mixture that can hold its shape when pressed together between your fingers. Press this into a lined 9x5 loaf pan and put in the fridge.

To make the caramel: blend everything up until smooth, adding almond milk as needed, but try to use as little almond milk as possible. It should be thick, creamy and delicious (like... well... caramel). Spread evenly onto your crust and put back in the fridge.

To make the chocolate: blend everything until smooth, adding water if you need to. It should be a slightly thinner consistency than the caramel, like chocolate syrup. Pour and spread evenly onto your caramel layer. Sprinkle on pretty things. Put in the freezer for a few hours until it's solid and the caramel is gooey and holds its shape when cut. Alternatively, leave it in the freezer overnight and then wait for the whole thing to thaw enough so you can cut it.

ADAPTIONS: use any gooey, sweet dried fruit instead of raisins; use any nuts, seeds or gluten-free unrefined flours instead of buckwheat groats and pecans; use vanilla extract instead of vanilla bean; use any nut or seed butter instead of hazelnut butter; use water instead of almond milk; use coconut butter or date syrup instead of coconut oil; use cocoa or carob powder instead of cacao powder. 

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