It's going DOWN with these bad boys. I know I just shared a brownie recipe but C'MON, MAN. You can never have too many raw vegan love bites... amiright? I also know that in my last post for lemon tarts I talked about how dessert totally doesn't need chocolate to be good. It's true. But chocolate never hurts. Besides the above, I don't have a whole lot to say about this recipe. I mean I think the title tells you everything you need to know: peanut butter. fudge. brownies. See? 

In any case, my brain is kinda fried today. University can really take it outta me sometimes. Majoring in history is something I am doing because I want to. I love studying history. At the same time, it seems like the reading and essay-writing and critically-analyzing is ENDLESS. My noggin' needs a break. Thankfully I don't have class on Fridays so this weekend I am gonna try to relax a bit. I haven't been meditating lately and I really must get back into that. I always feel better when I make it a regular thang. My partner has been having some emotional problems too, which of course becomes part of my life. It's ok! I love him, dammit, so I will be strong for him when I'm capable. But it's challenging at times and when put on top of all my other responsibilities, I can feel overwhelmed. That is how I am feeling today: overwhelmed. I dream of getting back to Wells and escaping from all the stress in the city. At least my parents are gone this week, it makes the house way more chill.

At the end of the day I just need to look myself in the mirror and say: Emily, suck it up. Not in a negative or unhealthy way. I mean that my life is basically a dream come true plus organic bananas so I have nothing to even CONSIDER complaining about. I need to focus on gratitude and be inspired. I am so thankful for the secondary education I have access to and am taking advantage of. I am thankful for my beautiful, unique, healthy body. I am thankful for the amazing, caring, sensitive man in my life who still makes me giddy when I look at his pillowy, pink lips. I am thankful for the RIDICULOUSLY ideal job I have of making brownies for the internet, and writing cookbooks for you. I am thankful for the ceaseless love you all send me on a daily basis, I have become a little more dependent on it than I would like to admit. I need you as much as you need me at this point, and I think that's pretty damn sweet. I am thankful for all the opportunities that come my way, the inspirational people in my life, the open-minded city I live in, and the majestic landscape of the pacific north west. Most of all I am thankful for baby pigs

I let myself get unhappy sometimes. More specifically, I let myself get stressed out or worked up about things I perceive to be important. But realistically, what is the WORST that could happen? I fail a semester? My next cookbook doesn't sell well? My website traffic goes down? Jack leaves me? I go broke? In all these scenarios, I will still be alive, loved and self-aware. I will always (fingers crossed) have a community of people who will be there to take care of me when I need it, and I will always have my own mind to entertain me, and this freaking incredible world to experience. MORAL OF THE STORY: I am grateful for what I have, and I know there's no need to feel stressed, so I won't. 

Oh! I guess it would be appropriate to say I am thankful for these brownies too, even though as I type this, they have long since been inhaled by yours truly and that lovely man I just mentioned. 


1 cup cashews
1 cup buckwheat groats
2 cups Medjool dates
2 tablespoons cacao powder
1/2 teaspoon sea salt

1/3 cup peanut butter (try Earth Balance!)
1 tablespoon water

3 tablespoons coconut oil
1 tablespoon maple syrup
1 tablespoon cacao powder

To make the base: grind the cashew and buckwheat into flour in a high speed blender. Transfer to a food processor and add the rest of the ingredients. Process until it all starts to stick together. If it's still too crumbly, add more dates or 1 tablespoon of coconut oil or water. Press into the bottom of a 4X2 baking pan or whatever mold/shape you like.

Once it sets a bit, spread on the peanut butter.

To make the top: stir together the ingredient until smooth. Pour on top of the peanut butter layer and let the whole thing chill in the fridge (pun intended) for a couple hours or ideally overnight so the flavours can get to know each other. Slice and nom!

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