16 Apr 2014


Sorry I didn't have time to post yesterday about the liquid cleanse and how it's going. I am feel physically okay, but I think I am emotionally detoxing right now. I've been in a strange mood since I got out of bed, and I slept for a long time. I was taking the bus home in the rain, but decided to get off and walk because I loved the feeling of being soaked with the water falling from the sky. At the skytrain station I bumped into my friend from Vancouver island who is supposed to be staying with me this week... I had completely forgotten. She had tried calling my phone and knocked on my door for awhile but of course I was wandering around getting drenched and trying to figure out why I was feeling so grey, so I didn't notice my phone. Fortunately she had made plans with another friend so she's out right now, but I'll see her later. Once I got home, I realized I was really hungry so I made a mango-banana-date smoothie and it tasted good. Yet even after consuming it, I felt like laying down and crying. I've been feeling that way a lot lately, but I've been too busy to let myself actually give in. I don't have time to be sad.

I think that although I devote much of my time to actively confronting all my emotional demons, I let some become repressed unconsciously, and then convince myself they aren't hidden there. I have let that happen now, with emotions coming from my past relationship. My current partner's roommate is a friend of my ex-boyfriend, and so occasionally my ex will be over at my current partner's house. Inconvenient for us all, to say the least. Well, fate finally wanted to have a laugh so last week I went over there with my friends to see my partner and hang out but ended up walking into a room full of guys laughing together... my ex being one of them. My past relationship was very intense and emotional for me; I tell myself I have healed from it but obviously this is not so, because whenever his name is brought up, I have trouble breathing and speaking; and when I saw him a few days ago by surprise I was basically paralyzed. No one in the room seemed to notice this and they call kept laughing at jokes being told. I didn't know what to do so I just left. A little later I broke down in tears by the road without being able to explain precisely why. By the next morning I felt better... but evidently this was temporary because I think the same clump of suppressed feels has surfaced again and is making me glum as scum today. I suppose I need to allow myself to soak in these emotions and then hopefully they will leave me... I don't know. Sorry for making This Rawsome Vegan Life more like This Rawsome Vegan Depression but I gotta get my thoughts out somewhere.

As far the liquid fasting is concerned: it's going well. Yesterday was probably the toughest for me and partner, I wrote a final exam for archaeology then we went grocery shopping... we ended up getting way too hungry and really wanted to bite our meal instead of drink it, but we are strong willed and it wasn't a serious issue. We drank a bunch of amazing soup - seriously it was one of the best things I've ever tasted - and watched a documentary, then felt much better. And now we come full circle back to today: after having that mango-banana-date smoothie, I wrote the bulk of this post and did other blog/computer tasks. Then I made some soup, wrote in my journal, and still felt hungry. I made a blueberry smoothie with bananas, cacao and almonds. It's pretty good albeit a little grainy because I didn't let the almonds blend fully. If I feel hungry again later, I'll make some vegetable juice.


1 bunch parsley
2 beets
5 carrots
1 garlic clove

Juice. Drink. Mmm.


1 head cauliflower
2 cups corn 
6 field tomatoes
1 avocado
Juice from 1/2 lime
1 garlic clove
2 tablespoons miso paste
Cumin and coriander, to taste
Hot water, as needed

Steam the cauliflower and corn until tender (or leave it raw if that is important to you), then put everything in your blender and blend until smooth. This makes a lot of soup. It should taste amazing. If it doesn't, adjust according to taste until you like what you've got. 


1 frozen banana
2 mangoes
5 dates
4 ice cubes
Water, as needed

Blend it all up until smooth. 


5 tomatoes
2 cups corn 
1 avocado
Juice from 1/2 lime
Pepper, to taste
Vegetable broth, as needed

Blend everything until smooth. 


1 banana
1 cup frozen blueberries
3 dates
1/4 cup almonds
1 tablespoon cacao powder
Water, as needed

Blend until smooth. Enjoy.

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Jennae said...

It all looks so nice! I really need to try your soup recipes!

I definitely think feeling is healing and sometimes we have to just allow ourselves to feel down and submerge ourselves in that sadness so we can deal with it. It will pass but I'm sure you know that. I hope you are feeling better soon and I know you will be glowing even more than you already do after all these beautiful nutrients you have consumed.

I also bought your book recently and it is amazing, thank you so much for putting in so much effort, love and character. So much gratitude to you Em!

Unknown said...

Hey Emily,
I read your blog a lot. I'm vegan but I don't eat as raw as you do, though I want to get there. Your recipes are one inspiration!

And well, remember that you are not the only one that had a emotional relationship....it's important to remember that your suffering or happyness are not exclusive!
I date a guy from another country. We lived together in Paris, during my exchange over there, but I'm back to my country and we skype. We are planning to move together. But at the moment, he's feeling terrible for no reasons and he's not in the mood of talking or skype. I'm not even sure he wants me to get the visa anymore, he's not insterested to nothing in earth anymore. It's very frustrating. I'm also feeling down because of this senseless depression. But cooking is a away for me to feel more alive and relieved, and your website is helping me a lot. Thank you!

Jasmine said...

Hello Emily,

I've been following your blog for over a year up till now and I've recently just purchased your book. Just want to let you know that you've been a huge inspiration for me while I'm in the mid of my transition from vegetarian to a high-raw diet :)
We all have those times that we just have to release those contents out of the bottle and believe me that it's way better to let them out then to bury them inside (not good for the soul at all!). Think of it as a detox syndrome, after you've got rid of those emotion build-ups you are going to come out feeling stronger and lighter than ever! :)

Happy said...

Cheer up buttercup! You are blessed , you are healthy, you are loved.
Remember that there are people in this world who choose to be happy, with much less than what you have.
It's normal too feel gloomy/depressed once in a while, you're only human! - and let yourself feel that way for a while. Get all of those emotions out of your system!
I'm in a similar boat with the whole guy thing. Haven't seen him in a year, but just the other day started bawling my eyes out when something reminded me of him. But unlike you, I'm yet to be able to move on with someone else. It sucks.
That's what life is. Ups and downs.
But it'll get better :)
We have problems with boys and love.
Others in the world have problems protecting their loved ones, or putting food on the table.

We are blessed :)
Check out your veggie patch. Feel proud that you helped grow those beauties.
Soak up the sun, however much you can get.
Think of your friends, family, acquaintances, admirers - think of how many lives you've changed/affected - whether it be influencing someone's eating habits, or something greater. Think about how they've changed your life.
Think about all the knowledge you've gained, and how much more is out there.
Wonder about where you'll be and what you'll be doing in 5, 10, 20 years time.
Read your diary entries. Look how far you've come.
Choose to be happy :)

Sending you lots of love <3

Anonymous said...

Oh, girl. Thank you for sharing. It is normal not to be happy each day, each hour - it is normal not to think about yourself as a superperson with a smile on your face - with only one emotion in your life. Isn't it a bit scary? We all have sad moments and please, let yourself to have your emotions. Yes, we can find people who have more troubles, but all is relative and it does not mean you can not feel sad or smth like this. We should be strong enough to let ourselves to be weak sometimes. I know, you are really strong fot that. You can. You will return from this.

Unknown said...

hi! i appriciate your blog so much, and even though i dont know you, its nice to share in the pain of another person. that sounds odd but i think everyone takes comfort in the fact that we all have our negative feelings and difficult situations. i know i do at least. i live in bellingham, just a jump over the border. we have a great community here, let me know if you are ever in town, i'd love to meet for juice! :)

MC said...

Hang in there girly! Sending love!

Madelyn Grace said...

Hey girl,

I totally feel you with the emotional grey you're in right now. I was there, still am in a way, but I promise, your heart will heal and you will move forward in every way possible. You are stronger than you think, more powerful than you know.

Thank you for inspiring me on my food journey.

With warmth,

Madelyn Grace

Unknown said...

Emily, I just love your honesty- in every single way. Your recipes are INCREDIBLE. I'm sorry you're feeling so bleak. Every time I do a smoothie detox I feel that way too (emotionally). Oddly enough, I think more clearly about things I need to be thinking about more often, like unresolved issues. I have the identical issue you do, even 10 years later and the fact that I've moved on with my life. I'm fine until I see them, then realize I'm probably not as fine as I wish. You'll get through this and I'll be hoping you feel better:) Just adore these recipes, seriously- you rock!

Renard Moreau said...

[ Smiles ] Thank for the healthy vegan recipes!

Anonymous said...

Hi Emily,

I was at my doctor's yesterday. My blood test showed significant reduction in my cholesterol even though I had refused to take the medication she prescribed last year. "What have you been doing?" she asked.

"Well," I said, "There's this blog I found..." Yep. You, the Vitamix, but mostly you, changed the way I eat and helped me avoid taking statins for the rest of my life. It isn't that I didn't know about eating healthy before, but your recipes and your spirit of accepting whatever you feel is best for you - eat what makes you happy - philosophy.... that's what changed in me. So, thank you!!

Hope you are feeling better. I love getting drenched in rain as well. I used to live in a tropical country where the rain is really warm. It's a wonderful feeling.

MzAnais said...

Hi Miss Em,
I love that you are being so honest and truthful in your entries. Most people might skate over that, and try to maintain whatever "image" they need to uphold on the outside. So, pat yourself on the back for that one.

I know for myself, I tend to want to know why I'm feeling the way I am, or what's causing it, instead of just EXPERIENCING it. And letting it pass, because it will. Each moment is different and new and we need only give into exactly what our bodies are telling us (emotional and physically) and the rest will take care of itself.

Keep shining!

Gabriela said...

You are human like all of us, so feeling blue about the ex certainly is normal. Time and talking about it will help you, stay strong and know that us followers of your blog love you and appreciate you,,,,, and need you because you are such an inspiration to us for eating healthy!!! ( and for a smile in my stressful everyday job). Gratefully yours, Gabriela

Anonymous said...

Hi Emily,

I'd like to give you some great advice but I'm not that kind of person. All I can say emotions- especially the not so nice ones get viewed as negative and that we all should feel happy, and that just makes us feel worse when we don't feel 100 percent. If you are going to live a full life, you will feel the FULL range of human emotions and we all chase "happy feelings" but it's unsustainable. Just like any emotion sadness or happiness ebbs and flows. So i hope you are not too hard on yourself when you aren't feeling the best.

Rachel said...

Oh, sweetie. This post was such a flashback to my third year in college, when one of my roommates was best friends with my ex, and he seemed to appear in our living room at the worst possible moments. How you're feeling right now is so understandable and you're brave to be honest with yourself and face it. (Miraculously, he and I are good friends now, but it took a few years of space for that healing to be possible.)

Reading this blog, I am consistently blown away by your confidence and maturity. I'm almost 25 and have just recently begun to feel confidence that exude in every post (even this one). Even superheroes who write amazing blogs and publish two cookbooks in college have to have bad days sometimes. If anyone can make it through this and be stronger for it, you can.

Unknown said...

Hey there sweetie,

Thank you so much for your inspirational recipes! I LOVE eating raw deliciousness, and you have helped re-inspire me. That and you have fantastically easy recipes! Means a lot to a busy mom, let me tell ya.

I also wanted to say, that your vibrant energy comes across in your posts and it reminds me to remember the abundance in life. So since you're feeling down, a little yogic wisdom to share: Track those emotions; track them as one would track an animal (I know you're vegan, but even if you're tracking to observe). Find the root of that emotion. Ask if it is serving your present self. Offer it love, and let it go. It's a difficult task, but your beautiful soul deserves it. :)

valess said...

The one thing i can say dear emily, that for me, feeling sad and crying alot means that changes are on their way. Changes in life or how you think and feel about some things. (Like the ex partner) your soul is processing and is letting go of all the obstacles that keeps you from moving on to where you want to be. So, you will be more awesome than you're allready are in just a little while.

Ötso said...

This post just inspired me to have another shot at the liquid 'feast'.. I started last week and was loving it, but when all the shops closed and I had nothing left except buckwheat I caved! I've been very indulgent over the easter weekend and definitely need to give this another shot.
P.s. I'm sure you will feel better in no time, sending positive vibez from Aus!

Camilla said...

Love your blog! You're such an inspiration :-)

Celeste said...

Your blog is awesome!