Coffee! Vanilla! Tart!

This is a creamy, sweet, surprisingly light and unsurprisingly delicious recipe. As always, it's vegan cuz it can be and raw to maintain all the fab health benefits of the nuts and fruits used as ingredients. Good-for-you desserts are REAL: eat 'em.

Happy New Year and all that. I have mixed feelings about everything in my life right now, so I am not sure I am in exactly the right mood to celebrate anything... but I still am going out dancing tonight because it's like therapy for me. Having said that, I should definitely start seeing an actual therapist just so I have a professional human to talk to about my emotions, relationships and thoughts. In fact I think we should all have someone like this in our lives; an expert advisor and listener with whom there are no gambles in sharing your strangest ideas, darkest thoughts or most frustrated feelings. What I mean is: I love my family and friends and between them all, I basically always have a person to tell MOST of my shit to; but I never have one person I can tell everything. I can talk to a therapist / counsellor / psychologist / etc. about... I dunno... how I think my parents have negatively influenced me in some ways, and I will get back a semi-unbiased response from a professional academic type person dissociated from the situation; instead of telling my parents the same thing and getting into a lot of uncomfortable territory. I also know that I have a lot of bleak mental processes that I don't want to share with loved ones. Long story short: I gotta keep doing self-care, and I think in the new year that means adding in a therapist, counsellor or someone similar.

Oh yeah, and Jack and I are having problems too. I've been spending yesterday and today wondering what I should do. Do I deserve / need / want more? Am I taking what I have for granted? Do I want to be single? Would I like to be with someone else, start a new relationship? (No to that one, at least I know that). Do I wanna have more flings? (Yes, but is it worth it?) Should relationships be perfect all the time or just pretty great most of the time? (Probably the latter; I need to stop trying to perfect everything and be more realistic). In total conclusion: I have a lot of shit to figure out in 2016 and beyond, and I hope I do. I suppose life is a constant struggle of dealing and negotiating with ourselves - not to mention everyone and everything around us - in order to find a kind of happiness or satisfaction. In times of overwhelming reality I look to my wrist (which has BE HERE NOW tattooed on it), try to breathe deeply and remember that I am at once a universe unto myself and a dot in an endless, colourful cosmos. Basically: I don't need to worry because at least I have myself and access to comfortable, safe spaces and loving people. These are privileges that too many people don't have, but I do appreciate them. I hope you have a wonderful night and new year. Much love.


1 cup coconut flour
1/4 cup maple syrup 
1/4 cup melted coconut oil
1/4 cup sesame seeds, more or less as needed

Cream tart:
2 cups cashews, soaked in water for 3 hours then rinsed
1 cup walnuts, soaked in water for 3 hours then rinsed
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup coconut sugar
1/4 cup melted coconut oil
1 tablespoon chunk fresh ginger
1/2 vanilla bean, chopped
3 Meyer lemons, peeled and deseeded
2-3 cups water, as neeeded

Coffee blend:
3 tablespoons melted coconut oil
1/4 cup finely ground coffee beans
3 tablespoons maple syrup

Sesame seeds
Coffee beans
Maple syrup

To make the crust: stir together the ingredients - add a smaller amount of sesame seeds then add more as needed - until you get a crumbly mixture that holds its shape when pressed between a couple fingers. Press into a tart tin and put in the fridge.

To make the cream filling: blend the ingredients together - adding water as needed - until you get a smooth, creamy mixture that is slightly thicker than yogurt. Spread evenly into your crust.

To make the coffee blend: stir all the ingredients together until smooth then drizzle over the cream filling. Stir around with the handle of a wooden spoon to create pretty designs and swirls. Leave the tart in the fridge overnight, or in the freezer for a few hours (but it's best when you let it sit overnight; it develops more flavour). Garnish before serving.

ADAPTIONS: use any other flour instead of coconut flour; use 1 teaspoon vanilla extract instead of vanilla bean; use coconut butter instead of coconut oil; use dates instead of coconut oil and maple syrup in the crust; use carob or cacao instead of coffee; use lemon juice instead of lemons.

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